Alternative Watercooler Conversations

After being asked yet another time by a work colleague if I have been watching Eastenders, I have decided to prepare myself with ammunition and come up with a selection of possible 'watercooler' conversations to fight back and confuse the hell ouf of my workies.

The Strategy

The idea is to intially stun the enemy with a conversation starter on a sujbject that they find pretty much incomprehensible, then go for the kill by enthusiastically going into the aforementioned unfathomable subject of conversation in great detail. When they finally start to beg for mercy, foaming at the mouth, eyeballs rotating in wildy diverging orbits, chuck-in a flippant comment such as 'Oh I know what I was going to mention, did you watch the X-Factor last night, damn I have to go back to my desk now!', which would be the office equivalent of desecrating their bodies.

This Is Where You Come In

I need your suggestions. A couple have already come in:

Catch the History of Horror Films that started last night on BBC4, and discuss why Universal horror was better than the rest [Snaptophobic]

Talk about your increasing empathy towards Reggie Perrin. [Hairydalek]

Post your comments below and may the battle begin.

Comments

[Mark]

Clearly, if your work colleagues are still asking you about Eastenders now, after all this time, they're not in the slightest bit interested in what you say, otherwise they'd've listened the first time you told them "no".
Jus' sayin'.

[E.B.]

Start a D.I.Y. conversation about an outlandish bath instrument that Brits are in awe of (a bidet or a shower mixer tap for instance). Insist on describing everything in meticulous details, including dimensions, weights, volumes etc, all in metric. Keep asking them to translate that for you in imperial. Then go on using the metric measurements anyhow. Also talk about online DIY shop offers, pricing them in cents. Euro cents. Ask them again to do the calculation in pounds. Then go on to compare the prices with the original Lire prices from a decade ago. Ask them again to do the math. Repeat as often as un-necessary :-)

[Eve]

I think all you need to do is bring up David Foster Wallace. Oh, and mention that he was an American.

[Steve]

Cosmology for the win!
Horizon earlier in the week was a good primer for the current theories vying for prominence. Certainly trumps any x factor pretensions in my view.